Quitting drinking isn’t easy. Even if you’re not a heavy drinker, there will be situations where you crave alcohol. And it doesn’t help that alcohol is so normalized and inescapable - from work parties to weddings, alcohol is everywhere.
Of course, going sober could have so many benefits. For those already suffering from alcohol-related diseases, quitting could be essential for one’s health. Even if you’re not suffering from any alcohol damage, there could be a myriad of other advantages from no more hangovers to being able to drive safely back from any social event.
Many people understand these benefits, but still find it hard to ditch the booze. Quite often, failure to quit is due to one of these common mistakes. Read on to find out what these mistakes are and how to avoid them…
Leaving alcohol in the house
Keeping alcohol in the house can be too much of a temptation for many people trying to quit alcohol. By making your home a no-alcohol zone, you’re less likely to give in.
Before you start your sober journey, throw out any alcohol you may still have lying around in your home (or donate to someone if you don’t want it going to waste). If you’re already running low on alcohol, this could be the best time to begin quitting.
Giving up alcohol can be harder if you live with people who still drink, because they will have alcohol lying around. If you think your addiction is so great that you readily break into their stash of alcohol, consider talking to them and see if they are willing to hide their drinks or lock them away so that you’re less tempted to drink them.
Spending too much time around drinkers
If all your friends are drinking, you’re going to feel left out. In these situations, you’re more likely to be tempted to give in. Consider limiting your time around people who are drinking. Bars may not be the best places to meet up with friends - while you shouldn’t give up going to bars completely, consider planning more meetups at coffee bars so that you don’t have to watch your friends drink.
Some friends will be more understanding than others. Try to seek out those friends that are happy to see you without feeling the need to drink. The worst types of friends are those who drink alcohol and actively pressure you into having a drink. Stand your ground and be prepared to give these friends an ultimatum - they either stop trying to pressure you or you stop seeing them.
Socially isolating oneself
While it’s important to not spend too much time around drinkers, you also don’t want to socially isolate yourself. This will lead to boredom and depression - and you’ll probably start drinking again just so that you can socialize again.
Be prepared to see friends in drinking environments occasionally, but try to also come up with other places to hang out too. There are so many social activities that don’t have to involve alcohol - this could include grabbing a coffee, playing sports, gaming, going for walks, watching movies or going shopping.
Making new sober friends is recommended. You may be able to meet people at sober clubs or through meetup sites aimed at non-drinkers. Having such friends could allow you to plan social activities without having to worry about alcohol.
Failing to fill the gap left by alcohol
Giving up alcohol can leave a huge gap in many people’s lives. All that time you spent drinking alcohol needs to be filled doing something else. A big mistake people make is not filling that gap - leading to boredom and relapse.
Consider throwing yourself into hobbies and passions that you didn’t previously have the time for. This will give you a goal to focus on and distract you. Examples of hobbies could include arts and crafts, baking, home DIY, blogging, exercise/sports, listening to new music, watching new movies, reading, playing an instrument or dancing.
Some people find that they are able to still hang out at bars and not drink simply by finding new focuses. This could include solely going to the bar to play pool or attend trivia nights while only drinking non-alcoholic drinks. This could fill the gap of going to bars without drinking alcohol - although you do need to be careful, as you will be in an environment with lots of drinkers.
Finding an unhealthy replacement for alcohol
Some ex-drinkers make the mistake of filling the gap with other unhealthy addictions. This could include taking drugs, gambling or watching pornography.
Make sure that you’re not trading one bad habit for another. Find a healthy and productive addiction instead. This will help to satisfy that thrill that alcohol once did without further damaging your health.
Allowing yourself treats that turn into relapses
A lot of people struggle to completely give up alcohol. The idea of never drinking again feels like too much of a loss. As a result, some people allow themselves treats at special events like birthdays, Christmas or anniversaries.
This can be fine - so long as you know when to stop and it isn’t a danger to your body. These treats can however become self-destructive if you find yourself relapsing each time and then having to fight to quit all over again.
Sometimes it’s better to limit treats to a single drink for this reason. Or to not allow any treats at all. This will ensure that you don’t keep returning back to your old ways.
Not tackling the root cause of addiction
Although many of us aren’t willing to admit it, alcohol is often a form of self-medication. Many of us drink it to de-stress, and find it hard to unwind without it. For others, it can be a way of numbing feelings of anxiety or depression.
Quitting alcohol can take away this form of relief, which can then put many of us into a depressed or anxious state. Relapsing becomes the only way to treat oneself. If you find this to be the case, it could be worth considering therapy first before giving up alcohol. Once you treat depression or anxiety, it will then become easier to stop drinking.
Alternatively, you can look into dual diagnosis addiction treatment. This is a way of treating depression/anxiety and alcoholism at the same time that could be much more successful than trying to treat one or the other.
Focusing on the negatives, rather than the positives
As mentioned already, there are many benefits to giving up alcohol. However, it can also feel like there are many drawbacks. Too many people trying to quit drinking focus on what they have lost rather than what they have gained. Such negatives could include the buzz of alcohol, the social aspect, the taste and loss of inhibitions.
Instead, focus on these positives when giving up alcohol:
Giving up alcohol can reduce the risk of developing many serious health problems from liver failure to heart disease.
Giving up alcohol can free up huge amounts of money previously spent on drinking
Giving up alcohol can mean that you never have to deal with a hangover again
Giving up alcohol can help you to get better sleep quality
Giving alcohol could stop you from aging as fast - delaying many wrinkles and keeping your complexion looking youthful
Giving up alcohol gives you the freedom to and from any social event without worrying if you’re over the limit.
Giving up alcohol means no more embarrassing drunken mistakes or careless injuries while intoxicated
Not tracking and celebrating sobriety milestones
As with any goal, you need to record your progress and celebrate milestones. Too many people try to give up alcohol without even making a note of their start date. Without an accurate idea of how long you’ve quit drinking for, it can be harder to motivate yourself to continue.
Consider starting your sobriety at the beginning of a month and then start counting the days you’ve completed sober. You can use an old-fashioned calendar or you can use sobriety tracking apps to record your progress. Make sure to celebrate every time you reach a milestone (but don’t celebrate with alcohol!).
Thinking you can’t have fun without alcohol
Drinking alcohol is fun, but it’s not the only way to have fun. In fact, there are so many other fun activities to explore instead. Food, games, exercise, sex, comedy, art, music, sports and nature are just some of the joys of life that don’t have to involve alcohol.
It’s important to remind yourself of this so that you don’t feel like you’re missing out on fun. In fact, it could be worth taking the time to explore all of these joys without alcohol. Many ex-addicts find that healthy thrillseeker activities can replace the adrenaline rush of a night out. This includes activities like karaoke, eating chillies, riding roller coasters, watching horror movies, trying immersive theater experiences and partaking in extreme sports (like skiing, surfing, long-distance running, paintball, rock climbing or even skydiving).